August 22, 2010

Tips for Bad Parenting

1. Leave powdered mineral makeup available for toddler play. It is especially lovely when sprinkled on carpet. Its permanence will be a great reminder of the creative art little ones can make. The two hours that you will spend trying to remove it will just be a reminder of your little one's artistic genius.

2. Leave in-progress knitted sweater within reach of toddler. He will enjoy removing the needles and pretending to knit. Nevermind that many, many stitches will be ripped out from the work in progress. Consider it a bonus to leave scissors nearby so that little fingers can cut the brand new and expensive circular needles apart, rendering them fit for the garbage.

3. Let toddler play in vehicle after arriving home. He will enjoy turning on lights, windshield wipers, radio, etc. Don't worry about double-checking that everything has been turned off. You will enjoy a special parenting moment the next day when, upon getting ready to leave, you discover that the car battery is dead.

This past week held a few new challenges...


Wendy said...

Those are good - very good tips. Now - let me know what good infant tips you come up with in a few months. :-)

McBabble said...

Oh boy, I hope we do much better with the new baby! The thing about Charlie is that he's sneaky! He never bothered my makeup before and then all of a sudden, he covers the bathroom with it. Same thing with my knitting. No problems and then Boom! he destroys it while I'm in the shower. Luckily, these are all pretty harmless, so I'm at least thankful for that!